He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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