He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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