I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The uberlube is also flammable
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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