trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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