apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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