in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
