She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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