what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
