im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
