were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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