my vag is so smooth its legendary
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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