Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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