Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
