it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
