Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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