you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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