last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
