It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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