Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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