the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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