woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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