And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
