We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
