The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
