Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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