Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
