make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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