My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
