Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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