i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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