I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
