I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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