You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
