Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
