actually, I'm a sock model
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
