I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
