Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
