I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
