Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
