ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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