I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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