So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
