do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it glows. i had to have it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
