I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
