Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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