well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
