A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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