Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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