Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
