fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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