Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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