Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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