they need to just BURY HIM!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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