dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
